Brave or Dumb?

My boss was kind enough to let me borrow his bike until mine is out of hock.
(It's currently seized as evidence. I have no idea if it can be salvaged.)
Only problem is, my boss' bike has pedals with clips for biking shoes,
instead of standard pedals. Yesterday, I finally made it out to a biking
store, and picked up a proper pair of cycling shoes, of the mountain biking
variety. (While I don't plan on doing any mountain biking, these shoes have
treads, and can be walked on comfortably for short distances, when not riding.
This isn't the case for most road biking shoes.)

I also picked up a new helmet, several lights, a reflective jacket, some
reflective ankle straps with LEDs, and some reflective tape. At least now,
they'll see me coming, even if I look like a big dork. I biked down the
Stevens Creek trail with Kirsten today, just to prove I have the nerve
to make the trip again tomorrow morning. I think I'll be okay, although I
do miss my old bike, particularly the straight handlebars and the mirror
attached to them.

Otherwise, spent the weekend on recreation, perhaps in the name of mental
health? Saw "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" (and liked it), and saw Clerks II
twice (and loved it). Ate brunch at Stacks, and dinner at the Tied House.
Spent a lot of money I didn't need to, basically, but it beat sitting
at home. Did some packing for the wedding, so Wednesday night won't
be a total disaster. Looking forward to the wedding stuff, now that most
of it is planned. Very much looking forward to seeing a bunch of the
east-coast crowd again. Wedding anxiety is taking a backseat to bicycle
anxiety, at the moment, and perhaps this is for the best.

Proof that I've always been a head-case, with anxiety issues:
When I was a kid (5-8 years old, maybe?) I used to get really worried
about the fact that I would have to get married, some day. You see, this
meant I would have to kiss a girl, and that was gross. This was a
specific fear that popped into my head frequently enough that I still
remember it today. Of course, I was scared of everything else, too.
I hated going to the dentist (it hurt!), and I knew that some day, I would
have to have my wisdom teeth taken out. I feared this, as well. I
sometimes wonder what anxiety is like for "normal" people, just like I
wonder what it would be like to have a "normal" digestive system. I also
wonder what affected me, at such a young age, to make me such an anxious
person. Or perhaps it's all a matter of brain chemistry? Where would
I be, if I weren't so much of a headcase? Would I have been so driven,
if I weren't so terrified of not meeting the expectations of others?

Wellbutrin is both cool and scary. I've lost 5 pounds in two weeks, and my
appetite seems to be greatly reduced. I need to be careful...I can miss dinner
and not notice until I go to bed. While I've been fairly upbeat and
moderately energetic, I've also been a bit high-strung, and I don't think
it's doing good things for my anxiety or my stomach, although it does
seem to help with the depression. I miss the
lexapro a bit, and have been close to calling my doctor to switch back.
I'd really like to make it a full four weeks before changing medications
around, however. And messing with my brain chemistry this close to the
wedding doesn't seem like a wise idea, unless I'm a total mess.

Better living through chemistry.

I've been playing sheepshead with friends at work, and now on Yahoo. It's
a delightfully confusing card game, brought to you by Germany, Wisconsin,
and the number three. It's simple...you only play with half a deck (7s and
above), diamonds are trump, all jacks and queens are trump, tens are higher
than Kings, trump Clubs beat Spades beat Hearts beat Diamonds, trump
Queens beat Jacks beat diamonds, and you
choose your partner by calling the ace of a suit in which you do not have
the ace but do have another non-ace card, unless you don't have any such
suits, in which case you call an ace you do not have and choose any other
card to be played in the trick where that ace is played...which is of course
assuming you don't have all three aces (the Ace of Diamonds doesn't count,
because it's trump), in which case you call a ten. Thankfully, you only
have to worry about choosing your partner if you decide to "pick up"...which
is pretty much the only way to win the game, but if you don't pick up, you
merely have to worry about figuring out which of the other players is the
partner (assuming it isn't you), and figuring out how to play accordingly.
Finally, you have to overcome the heckling of your coworkers, who will
try to confuse you by saying silly things like "clubs are led", when playing
a queen of clubs. (The queen of clubs isn't a club--it's a trump.)
It's fun. My first few games, I brought tears of laughter to the eyes
of my coworkers, as I fumbled miserably. Now I've pretty muched figured
out what's going on, although I don't really know how to score it.